My dear old fish, go boil your head!

I've read the articles about how mindless cartoons numb the brains of small children, how early exposure to violence or agressive language will render them socio-paths...

I'm not saying they're wrong, just that whatever you do, you can't win.

Yesterday, Son was playing around with his friend's bike (who was still in school) under the watchful gaze of another friend and his mother.

'Careful, you don't want to break K's bike, do you?' I ventured politely.

'Stop nagging, you miserable miser!' said Son.

'Excuse me, that's not very nice', I countered, slightly embarrassed by now.

'My dear old fish, go boil your head!'

So there's proof that however wholesome and cultured your home life might be (Son was quoting Willy Wonka in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory!) your children will still manage to horrify you regularly, usually in front of a crowd. Often to the point where you'd quite like some mindless TV to numb their brain... just a little bit, of course.